I am not tired although I am sure I should be. The house is silent and all I here is the sound of the train passing by and the heater that has kicked on. There are so many things that I should be doing with this time I am essentially wasting. There are Christmas gifts to finish, laundry to wash and fold, dishes to do crayon to be washed off the walls...the list goes on and on. Instead here sit typing hoping to impart to someone the little tidbits I have thought about all week long. Well you know it is only Thursday...
I am a mom of 4 children, 3 on the borderline of special needs. I say borderline because, if you were to look at them you would say, "they look normal to me." To which I say "looks can be deceiving." Now I really have come to the conclusion that if you knew what you were looking for, your child would be far from normal. All of us would be riding the short bus if you really split us a part. Over that past week though I have come to hold these truths true for every child and every parent.
Once you become a parent, be a parent. As much as we would all like to be our child's or children's best friend. That is simply not what being a parent is. It won't be easy to be a parent. You will want to get out and away and forget that you are responsible for a life. Your idealistic date every Friday is a nice thought but not very practical. Your child won't like you and will probably utter I hate you by the time that they are 4. Really don't be foolish that won't be the first time they have thought it. Whatever form of discipline you though you could rely on, just throw it out the window. There will never be enough hours in the day to ensure that you get it all done. Every dream that you ever had of how things were going to be well...they probably weren't realistic anyway. Everything is not going to be perfect. It will in fact be messy. Should you ever get the mess clean, it will mean that you were home without children and they will soon be home to mess it all up.
Being a parent is about being creative. So you weren't the school artist or drama queen. Here is the time to live it up. Stop and smell the flowers, the may be turned into bunny food by morning. It is not going to matter to your child tomorrow that your bills were paid or that the laundry was done, but they will surely talk about how mommy crawled on the floor and barked like a dog . They will be amazed at how well you color in the lines, but they will like to know that even mommy colors out side the lines every once in a while. If they are bouncing off the walls, bounce with them. Really who is it going to hurt? When they are loud be louder. Turn up the music and sing like you are a rock star and they will sing with you. Anything can become a game.
Children learn to value themselves when you show them you value them, but also by showing them you value yourself. Say what you mean, mean what you say and do what you say. I am sure that we have all heard that a million times. It is true. Your child or children will allow you to be the door mat if you let them. They only have the authority you give them. Learn to recognize when the problem is you and not them. Sometimes mommy needs a time out, put yourself there and call it what it is. Anxiety is contagious, keeping your cool will help them maintain theirs.